Mom! How can _____ kill me?

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Because, my beautiful child. They are all like Hagrid's book and try to eat you all day. All night.

Mom!! How can homework kill me?
 
Some Times U Can Rage So Hard You Will Kill Yourself

Mom How Can Anime Kill Me?
 
By putting you into happy coma

MOM! How can pigs kill me?
 
The Pigs Will Hug U So Much U Explode

Mom How Can Posting On Mcpz Kill Me?
 
He Will Shove His Owner Rank In Your Mouth And You Will Slowly Choke To Death
(I Wasn't Trying To Be Mean Ok?)
Mom How Can Creative Kill Me?
 
Pecking your tiny pig eyeballs out with their sharp beaks, or beating you in a staring contest that you cry excessively until someone eats you for dinner. :)

Mom! How can Twitter kill me?
 
Twitter Will Come To Life And Eat U

Mom How Can Filling A Chest Kill Me?
 
Never talk about suicide my sweet little pig child, or I will have to kill you.

Mom! How can Grandma kill me?
 
Going insane and cooking soup. Secret Ingredient: YOU.

Mom! How can Pokemon Go kill me?
 
With it's abnormally large ears, it wraps them around your throat. It starts hopping, making it's ears magically get smaller, causing you to choke and die.

Mom! How can typing kill me?
 
Stabbing you in the eye with its sharp tip, blood from your eye squirts like a volcano until there is no more and you die.

Mom! How can soda kill me?
 
Soda turns your bones all grey...which is pretty much dying

Mom!? How can you kill me?
 
Ch-ch-ch-ch-cHILD ABUSE!


Mom! How can sunglasses kill me?
 
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