Hi partiers 
,
This is a thread about how everyone one of you are amazing and deserve to live. So basically how I though about my self-image and i'm hoping I can change someone's mind about their self-image.
My name that I go by here is Alleh, or Allehway. But my real name is Laura. I also thought that when I was younger that I wasn't good enough for the world. That I wasn't pretty enough. When I was in year 1 (Or 1st grade) I was told that I was fat.. (Even though I wasn't) This broke my heart, even though I tried to ignore it and just laugh it off. I thought it was just a joke so I didn't really let it bother me too much.
Knowing the society that we live in today, judgement is a huge thing. People get expectations about others, and I always thought that the way I looked were low standards and that I would be judged for what I truely looked like and I couldn't help that. I thought that I had oversized ears, huge lips, small eyes, an ugly body, a horrible face shape, I had too many scars (I was a clumsy kid ;p), etc.
I did get bullied for a bit and then thats when @HxpeOfMxrning came into my life, it was really the first day that she came to my school that we just clicked. Ive been great friends with her ever since. A couple of years went by and I mean like life was fine. I did get more scars as I said earlier I was a clumsy kid, so yeah still got lots of scars today ;p
Last year, 2016 was probably the worst year of my life. (This part may not seem important but it is.) everything was fine until around August, (this was when I got my own pc and starting playing minecraft on it, kinda quite pe.) I started having memories about when I was called fat years ago, and I sort of started blocking out the positive words, exactly like the saying 'Go through one ear, and out the other' and then I was grabbing onto all of these negative words. It was like a voice in my head that took control and kept telling all of these negative things about myself and to listen and believe them. One of my biggest mistakes in life. I developed self depression, I never tried cutting because I thought that would make me even uglier. A couple weeks later after that I found pz.
Fast ford to 14th of December.. worst month of the year. It was a regular school day and then I was told I was going home with a friend. I wasn't going home with them I was going to the hospital. My dad and friend's mum began hugging each other and at that moment was when I saw my dad cry for the first time. I was soon told that my mother had passed, and the last word I said to her was a rushed 'Bye!'
This didn't help with my self depression because thats when I began to starve myself. I went to school the next day because of our end of year party. As soon as I stepped foot where the party was held I was supported so much. Everyone was told and many of my friends were extremely supportive even though I didn't talk much at that time. Welcome to the dark times me, I'm still trying to recover from that today. Its may 2017 and it seems impossible to get over.
I never really told anyone of my self depression because i'm one of those people that normally keeps their problems to themselves. A online friend (Not tagging them because I'm not sure if their ok with me doing that and he'll know if he does read this.) was also going through self depression, I had to put on a mask and act as if everything was ok. He did get through it with me supporting him and after hearing what he'd done it really made me think. It made me think about how I could change.
This was around when i joined forums and I was too nervous to do a face reveal (If you remember earlier it was because of judgement) I thought that the people I talked to would eventually have an expectation towards me and be disappointed if they saw what I truely looked like. Here I am today still recovering from my self depression and getting all of these compliments from you guys and it really does make my day even though I don't agree with most of them.
If it wasn't for this community I don't know how I would feel today.
If you or anyone you know is suffering depression about anything tell them to talk to someone, or even you. Don't do what I did and keep it to yourself and act like nothing was up. As writing this now I really wish that I hadn't made the mistake of not telling anyone. So please help save someone's life, everyone of you deserves to live and you're all loved. Think about your actions before you do them.
A special thank you to some people in particular, but overall this whole community.
@Callum: What would life be without? All of those great memories that we had in murder with other friends. You were always there for me and as you know that i'll never leave your side and you can talk to me about anything. I truely don't know what kind of a person I would be today without you. ilysm
@Kona: Where to start kona? Although I only recently met you, it felt like its been months. You truely are an amazing person that i'm glad we spent all of those rage moments and 1v1s on moshi monsters together. It's impossible to replace a friend as amazing as you, ilysmmm
@Niixonn: I really don't know where to begin, we've shared all of those great memories my teletubbie friend. You're always there for me and I know that you'll never fail me, your master My lil sc bud ily
@Joshuaaa1221: Josh, you're like an older brother that I never had. Lets be honest here, I don't think that I would be the person I am today without you Ilysm
@CanYouDont: Hanna your such an amazing person and your always here for me. I love to discuss different books with you as well as play some good old freeze tag. Its even better since you get to hear me rage all the time Ily
@HxpeOfMxrning: That first day I met you at school, we clicked. Im so glad to have a minecraft buddy like you. At school you're actually the only other person that plays minecraft with me. Although we fight about the most stupidest things and yell like idiots, you're one of my best irl friends. Its hard to think about what life would be without you! ilysmm
@Hclly: Although I didn't really talk to you much before Holly, it turns out that you're an amazing friend, and I don't know what type of a person I would be without you! ily
Thank you for reading my self image story and I hope that all of you wonderful people don't ever have to experience this or even make the same mistakes I did.
This whole thread I had to write out twice because I lost the first one but I mean like I like this one more. It took me a whole 45 minutes to write and edit the whole thing ;p
Also congrats! You made it through the whole thread! ;D Also there are so many other people I could've tagged but I thought the thread was long enough
-Allehway
,This is a thread about how everyone one of you are amazing and deserve to live. So basically how I though about my self-image and i'm hoping I can change someone's mind about their self-image.
My name that I go by here is Alleh, or Allehway. But my real name is Laura. I also thought that when I was younger that I wasn't good enough for the world. That I wasn't pretty enough. When I was in year 1 (Or 1st grade) I was told that I was fat.. (Even though I wasn't) This broke my heart, even though I tried to ignore it and just laugh it off. I thought it was just a joke so I didn't really let it bother me too much.
Knowing the society that we live in today, judgement is a huge thing. People get expectations about others, and I always thought that the way I looked were low standards and that I would be judged for what I truely looked like and I couldn't help that. I thought that I had oversized ears, huge lips, small eyes, an ugly body, a horrible face shape, I had too many scars (I was a clumsy kid ;p), etc.
I did get bullied for a bit and then thats when @HxpeOfMxrning came into my life, it was really the first day that she came to my school that we just clicked. Ive been great friends with her ever since. A couple of years went by and I mean like life was fine. I did get more scars as I said earlier I was a clumsy kid, so yeah still got lots of scars today ;p
Last year, 2016 was probably the worst year of my life. (This part may not seem important but it is.) everything was fine until around August, (this was when I got my own pc and starting playing minecraft on it, kinda quite pe.) I started having memories about when I was called fat years ago, and I sort of started blocking out the positive words, exactly like the saying 'Go through one ear, and out the other' and then I was grabbing onto all of these negative words. It was like a voice in my head that took control and kept telling all of these negative things about myself and to listen and believe them. One of my biggest mistakes in life. I developed self depression, I never tried cutting because I thought that would make me even uglier. A couple weeks later after that I found pz.
Fast ford to 14th of December.. worst month of the year. It was a regular school day and then I was told I was going home with a friend. I wasn't going home with them I was going to the hospital. My dad and friend's mum began hugging each other and at that moment was when I saw my dad cry for the first time. I was soon told that my mother had passed, and the last word I said to her was a rushed 'Bye!'
This didn't help with my self depression because thats when I began to starve myself. I went to school the next day because of our end of year party. As soon as I stepped foot where the party was held I was supported so much. Everyone was told and many of my friends were extremely supportive even though I didn't talk much at that time. Welcome to the dark times me, I'm still trying to recover from that today. Its may 2017 and it seems impossible to get over.
I never really told anyone of my self depression because i'm one of those people that normally keeps their problems to themselves. A online friend (Not tagging them because I'm not sure if their ok with me doing that and he'll know if he does read this.) was also going through self depression, I had to put on a mask and act as if everything was ok. He did get through it with me supporting him and after hearing what he'd done it really made me think. It made me think about how I could change.
This was around when i joined forums and I was too nervous to do a face reveal (If you remember earlier it was because of judgement) I thought that the people I talked to would eventually have an expectation towards me and be disappointed if they saw what I truely looked like. Here I am today still recovering from my self depression and getting all of these compliments from you guys and it really does make my day even though I don't agree with most of them.
If it wasn't for this community I don't know how I would feel today.If you or anyone you know is suffering depression about anything tell them to talk to someone, or even you. Don't do what I did and keep it to yourself and act like nothing was up. As writing this now I really wish that I hadn't made the mistake of not telling anyone. So please help save someone's life, everyone of you deserves to live and you're all loved. Think about your actions before you do them.
A special thank you to some people in particular, but overall this whole community.
@Callum: What would life be without? All of those great memories that we had in murder with other friends. You were always there for me and as you know that i'll never leave your side and you can talk to me about anything. I truely don't know what kind of a person I would be today without you. ilysm
@Kona: Where to start kona? Although I only recently met you, it felt like its been months. You truely are an amazing person that i'm glad we spent all of those rage moments and 1v1s on moshi monsters together. It's impossible to replace a friend as amazing as you, ilysmmm
@Niixonn: I really don't know where to begin, we've shared all of those great memories my teletubbie friend. You're always there for me and I know that you'll never fail me, your master
My lil sc bud ily @Joshuaaa1221: Josh, you're like an older brother that I never had. Lets be honest here, I don't think that I would be the person I am today without you
Ilysm@CanYouDont: Hanna your such an amazing person and your always here for me. I love to discuss different books with you as well as play some good old freeze tag. Its even better since you get to hear me rage all the time
Ily @HxpeOfMxrning: That first day I met you at school, we clicked. Im so glad to have a minecraft buddy like you. At school you're actually the only other person that plays minecraft with me. Although we fight about the most stupidest things and yell like idiots, you're one of my best irl friends. Its hard to think about what life would be without you!
ilysmm@Hclly: Although I didn't really talk to you much before Holly, it turns out that you're an amazing friend, and I don't know what type of a person I would be without you!
ilyThank you for reading my self image story and I hope that all of you wonderful people don't ever have to experience this or even make the same mistakes I did.
This whole thread I had to write out twice because I lost the first one but I mean like I like this one more. It took me a whole 45 minutes to write and edit the whole thing ;p
Also congrats! You made it through the whole thread! ;D Also there are so many other people I could've tagged but I thought the thread was long enough
-Allehway
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