TRACKER [Chapter 1]

Discussion in 'Stories' started by DanielaParty, Apr 18, 2018.


Is this too short, too long or just the right amount per Chapter?

Poll closed Apr 25, 2018.

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  2. Eh, pretty short, don't you think so?

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  3. Just the right amount ^-^

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  1. DanielaParty

    DanielaParty Heroic Partier Elite

    Jun 27, 2017
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    There once was the beautiful girl named Lena. Lena's mom is always telling her to be careful outside, but this time when her Mom told her to buy something in the Grocery Store, she ran into the Forest for some fresh air. She couldn't hold herself anymore in her Daily Life, she wanted some Action. Something to live for. She wanted to Explore. She continued running and running into the Forest. Without realizing, her phone dropped down while she was running. After a while, she stops running and sits down on the ground. She sums a melody she likes and looks up to the sky. After a while, she went back home. Lena's Mom asks her why she was outside for so long and where the Groceries are, but Lena isn't responding. She just went into her room and grabbed her pho-
    'Where is my Phone?'

    Realizing she lost her Phone, She goes on her Computer and tracks her Phone.
    'Oh no.'
    Apparently, somebody found her phone, because it isn't inside the Forest anymore, it's on the other side of the Forest, and still is moving. Determined, she runs out of the House without explaining her mom anything, takes her Bike and starts driving at a high speed towards the Forest. She has her tracker with her, so she can follow her Phone. After an Hour, she finally is out of the Forest, but the Phone is already somewhere else. She is in a complete other District than where she lives, she knows no face, no house, nothing. She only follows the tracker so she can finally get her phone back.
    Yes! The Tracker stopped moving. Excited, she drives even faster.
    There! Only a kilometre left till she arrives.
    Prologue End.
    before you read Chapter 1!


    Lena arrived in front of a House where apparently the phone is in. She inhales, is she really going to confront the Thief? She knocks at the door.
    But to her Suprise, instead of a Scary looking grumpy person, she saw a young, fine-looking guy.
    'Hello, how can I help you? I'm Etgar.'
    all words escape Lena.
    'eh- uh- I...I- uhm...'
    *she sighs*
    'Sir, is there any chance that my Phone is located here? I tracked it down and it seems to be in your House.'
    Etgar looks surprised.
    'N...not that I know about, no. But maybe my Friend Oliiver knows something about that..OLIIVER COME HERE PLEASE'
    A boy whose name is apparently Oliiver runs towards Etgar excitedly 'Did the Pizza arrive?'
    'No, Oliiver. It's a Girl who says you have her Phone.'
    Oliiver backs off two steps, turns around, jumps out of the Window and Runs.
    Realizing that Oliiver is trying to run away, Lena jumps back on the Bike and drives after.
    'well I supposed to run too?'
    Etgar locks the House and runs after as well.
    Oliiver is running pretty fast but, since Lena is driving with a Bike, he got caught pretty easily.
    'Give me my Phone back.' says Lena Demanding.
    'Haha, you really think I'm that stupid to keep your Phone with me? I knew you would catch up with your Bike, so wouldn't it be stupid if I still had the Phone with me?'
    'What? But the GPS Says that.....'
    'Oh, I took the little shiny thingy out of your phone and put it in my pocket.' says Oliiver, smirking.
    'How did you even know it was for my GPS tracker?'
    'I eavesdropped your conversation with Etgar. Oh! Speak of the Devil'
    Etgar Finally caught up with them two. He seems exhausted.
    'W-whay...*pant*...what *pant* is going on?'
    'Basically, your Lil' friend here stole my Phone.'
    'Wait...where IS Oliiver?'
    While Lena and Etgar were off guard, Oliiver took the chance to escape.
    Lena checks the GPS Tracker. it points to her.
    'Ah for F-'
    'Huh? Can you hear that too, Etgar?'
    'Yeah, what's that sound?'

    'I-it seems as if the sound is coming from this Bush!'
    Lena and Etgar go closer to the noise.
    '!....It is my Phone!'
    Lena's Mom is calling. She decides to answer.
    'What is i-'
    'DU DUMMKOPF! What are you doing? Where are you? Why are you only answering NOW AFTER FRIGGIN HOURS??!
    Come back! you are worrying me! WHY THE HECK do you think it's a good idea to just run out and leave?!? Were you ignoring my Calls? I thought we talked about this! Y-'

    'MOM! mom, I will explain everything in Detail later, but at the moment I can't. Just be pati-'
    'NEIN! You are coming back home NOW.' *hangs up*
    Lena and Etgar just quietly stare at the phone.
    'Welp, I guess I'll go now.'
    'Wait! Here, this is my Phone Number. You might better gonna go home now, but we still have to get Oliiver...'
    'Hah, right!'
    And like that, Lena drives back home. It's already 8 pm, and her mom doesn't seem to be too happy.
    's i g h'

    *after an Hour of explaining*
    'S-see, but everythi-'

    'BIST DU BESCHEUERT? WHAT IF THE PERSON WHO STOLE YOUR PHONE INDEED WAS SOMEONE STRONG? YOU COULD'VE DIED AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW WHERE YOU ARE! Are you out of your mind? The WHOLE STORY only happened BECAUSE you didn't listen to me, and now you tell me you want to go out to the forest AGAIN?'
    ' (-.-') ...I'm going to sleep now...'

    After a good sleep, Lena stands up and makes herself ready to go outside. But just when she wanted to leave...
    'NEIN, you stay here today! You're going to be in danger if you keep up like this!'
    'But Mooooooom! Please!'
    'Nein. Go back to your Room and do something that is safer.'
    'Ugh, Fine Mom.'
    Lena goes back to her Room.
    '...I can't just stay here...'
    She writes a small piece of paper, puts it in front of the Door from her Room and Climbs out of her Window. She sneaks to her Bike, and off she goes.
    She drives towards the Store because she wants to buy some Apple Juice and a New Tracker.
    'O-oh! Hello Lena! What are you doing here?'
    That's stellcr. Lena's Classmate. they always sit next to each other in Class but, that's the first time they cross each other on Holidays.
    'Ah, I'm just buying some Apple Juice. And you?'
    'Buying some Ingredients to make Cupcakes.'
    'Cupcakes? You bake Cupcakes?'
    'Ah, not me. My Younger Sister wants to but she isn't allowed to shop alone, so I'm doing it for her. By the way, how come you are alone? I always see you with your Mom when you're outside.'
    'Ehh, I ran out.'
    'You-- Wow. Didn't expect that from you, Lena. So where are you going?'
    Lena decides not to tell the story to stellcr, because then stellcr wants to come as well.
    'Uh...just gonna get some fresh air while drinking Apple Juice...'
    'Fair Enough.'

    Chapter 2 Coming out soon....

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    Last edited: Apr 18, 2018
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  2. Valiencian

    Valiencian Legendary Partier Elite+

    Jul 20, 2016
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    I love it! Good work child :)

    Poor Etgar is so confused
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2018
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  3. APerson

    APerson Heroic Partier VIP

    Dec 3, 2016
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    I'd love to read more. c;
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  4. mochichan

    mochichan Heroic Partier Elite+

    Mar 5, 2018
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    Oml, I already love this.

    I can't wait 'till the next Chapter! c:
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  5. Chanyeol

    Chanyeol Ultimate Partier Elite

    Mar 10, 2018
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    Very intrigued by this Oliver guy , You kept me on the edge of my seat. Well done!
    P.s this is pretty smooth , Keep up the good work!
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