Something that’s bothering me

[DaddyPffrz]

so this is about something that’s been bothering me (you don’t say from the title)

Hi, I’m Pffrz. A 15(almost 16) year old chick from the Netherlands.

I have had depression for 3 years now, it’s finally starting to clear because things are going wel...
This are going well for once.. how the hell do I handle that.

Mk for those who either never been depressed or are still depressed and don’t know what I’m talking about. I’ve had lived those 3 years with everything going bad so now things are going good, Great even! I passed my exams, got into the next school I want, going on my first holiday outside The Netherlands, (I’ve been in Germany but that doesn’t count) I got a dog going to see Markiplier Saturday but I’m still sad.. I feel depressed but I didn’t know why but I recently found out so that’s why I want to share this with people who have the same feeling

“Everything going good but I still feel unhappy” It’s because I’m not used to feeling this way, it’s not easy being happy you know, it’s a big change.. I’m so terrified that things are going to go bad.. you’d think that when things go good and your depression starts to clear things will be easier but no, you have to deal with a big change.. From sad to happy. I cry because I’m just scared.. scared to be happy because whenever I was thinking to be happy and stuff going right it always backfired at me so I don’t even trust my happiness anymore.. That’s sounds so depressing

Also for those who wonder why I was in a depression at such a young age (or not) Things were going bad in school because school out too much weight on my shoulders then complained to me, blaming me for breaking. I’m a kitchen sink (TOP refrence) that has a clogged drain and a leaky faucet but the drain has been unclogged.. still need to get used to the water draining on its own

So yeah that was my story I just wanted to tell

 

[PepperPancake]

Broooo you put it into words!

 

[DaddyPffrz]

Broooo you put it into words!

I am a very intellectual person.. somehow

 

[Cattt]

Thank you for sharing this with us all, it is earnestly inspirational. I get that feeling too, it's almost like you just KNOW it isn't going to last long. You aren't alone! I know it's cliche to say, but you really aren't. You have a whole server here supporting you. If you ever need to talk I'm here.

 

[PepperPancake]

I have actually talked to other people about this before (about how feeling very happy makes me even more sad, because i know its going to end) and they all said it was because of my anxiety and depression so idk man

 

[reddd]

Damn i feel like this too, like all the time. I had depression and it has cleared now, and every so often you get a small backlash from what it once was and it sort of just ebbs inside of you until something good happens again. Personally it was the routine i was in that made me depressed, where nothing truly great or exhilerating happened. I understand how you feel. When I left primary school I was terrified go get my hopes up. I had mixed emotions about comprehension school. It might cheer me up and get me out of this routine, is what I thought, and it did. You should always trust happiness and hope it crops up again, because I promise you, it will ! All the good things that have happened lately to you means that everything is going to get better.