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☆OUTCASTS - Chapter Four And More!☆

Discussion in 'Stories' started by aestheticsushi., Jun 6, 2019.

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  1. aestheticsushi.

    aestheticsushi. Champion Partier VIP+

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    Characters
    Alya Vale - Me
    Luna Wood - @Valiencian
    Amanda Simpson - @ahnna
    Pipin Thompson - @Rounse
    Lydia Casanovi - @Bori
    Byron Foster - @HuskyInAHat
    Kiro Nakamura - @Spirits
    Alteca Vincent - @Hyrotis
    Acer Collington - @Oliiver
    Geode Luminoza - @Muteiplayer


    I completely forgot about my story that I made a while back, and now that I'm feeling more up to writing I want to get back into it!

    Here's the original story, and the first few chapters:
    https://mcpz.net/threads/outcasts.54297/
    This story is inspired by a four-book series I love, SWIPE, by Evan Angler.
    I hope you enjoy!


    "I'm leaving now, Mamá!" Alya called to her mother, who was in the kitchen, from the doorway.
    Her mother stepped out of the kitchen, where she was preparing dinner. "Where are you going again, my niña?"
    Alya sighed and replied, "Sophie's house, for two nights, till Saturday, remember?"
    "Sophie is your friend, no?"
    "Sí, Mamá."
    "Oh, but, Saturday you go to Center, sí? I wanted to take you."
    "But Sophie was going to go with me, then drop me off at home-"
    "It's your big day, my Alya! And I'm making dinner, can't you go tomorrow and stay now?"
    "Lo siento, Mamá, I'm sorry, but Sophie is expecting me!" And I have to put my plan to work, Alya thought.
    "Fine. But why are you going in that, my niña? Can't you wear pretty Mexican skirt?"
    Alya looked down at her cropped hoodie and denim shorts. "But what's wrong with this, Mamá?"
    "Nothing, but, you just- you look so, well- American!"
    Alya rolled her eyes. "Mom, listen, I'm sorry you're not on board with my 'Americanness', but I have a place to be? Ba-bye."
    "And now you're calling me Mom!" Her mother said, looking rather upset.
    Alya bit her lip to keep her laughter back, as she didn't want to offend her mother.
    "Ok, Mamá, I have to go now- Seriously!"
    "Wait, wait! I have some cinnamon churros for you and Sophie!"
    Her mother hurried to the kitchen and came back with a plastic container.
    Alya sighed, took the container, and placed it in her backpack.
    "There. Ok? Now I'm going."
    "One more thing, my Alya-"
    Alya's mother grabbed her in a tight hug. It was a bit awkward, seeing as Alya was 5'6 and her short little mother was only 5'2.
    Alya walked out the already-opened front door, closing it behind her.
    She sighed a sigh of relief. She'd made it out alive.



    She arrived at Sophie's house on her bike, which she parked by leaning it against their house.
    She walked up the steps and she was about to ring the doorbell when the door flew open, revealing Sophie.
    She didn't bother to say hello, and got straight to the point. "Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked, as she gripped Alya's shoulders.
    Alya replied with fake-grimness. "Yes. I am."
    They both paused, before cracking up. "Then why are you standing there?" Sophie pulled Alya inside.
    Sophie turned to the intercom that was by the door, inside. The intercom was a 'face-cam' type, and
    Sophie's father's face appeared.
    "Hey, Dad! Alya's here, we're heading up to my room. Where are you right now?" Sophie asked him.
    "Well, Soph, I'm on the third floor, in my office. Have fun girls!"
    Sophie and her father lived on the richer side of town. Their house was a gorgeous white, with tall windows. Sophie was a single-child with no mother. She already got her ID Card months back.
    As they rode the elevator up to her room (yes, elevator), Sophie turned to Alya.
    "I would tell you how it went when I went to the Center, but one, they said I'm not allowed to tell people about it or blah blah blah, it's illegal now, you get it. And two, you obviously won't be going there anyways.." Her voice drifted off for a second. "I mean, like at the door? We were joking and all, but really, Alya, are you seriously doing this? I went to the Center, and sure, it's a little sketchy I guess, but.."
    The elevator doors opened and Sophie and Alya walked down the hallway to Sophie's mega-huge room.
    They both plopped on her queen-sized bed.
    Alya spoke up. "I'll miss you, but I think this is the right thing for me to do," she said quietly. "Maybe one day we'll see each other again?"
    Sophie turned to Alya and and grabbed her hand, giving it a squeeze. "I'll sneak out to the the outskirts of town if I have to."
    Alya smiled. "Imagine what your dad would say about that." She giggled.
    Sophie waved a hand dismissively. "He's too busy calculating numbers or whatever."
    Alya paused. "What does your dad do for work?"
    "Umm. I actually don't know.."
    "You mean you've never asked him?"
    "Oh, believe me, I have. He just says it's... Confidential."
    "Oh. Huh."
    "Yeah."
    "Mhmm."
    "So. That's uh, yeah that's what he says."
    "Uh-huh."
    "Every time, yeah."
    They both paused. This time though, no laughter escaped their mouths.
    Dead-silence filled the room.
    Sophie broke the silence. "So, umm, what's your excuse to leave tomorrow morning?"
    "I'll just tell your dad that I have to go home early because my mom called."
    "Okay.."
    Sophie thought for a moment and then added, "But, if you don't show up, what will happen?"
    "I guess, they'll.. Search for me?"
    Sophie held her breath. After a short moment she let it out and spoke. "Is it really worth it Alya? Risking your life just because of rumors?" Her voice was quiet as a mouse's.
    "Sophie, you don't understand! It's not just rumors. I know it's true. There's so many things wrong with that, that- Christopher." She spat.
    "Christopher?"
    "Advocate Damon."
    "Oh.."
    The night passed on uneventful, the two girls hanging out just as any girls would.
    As soon as the sun appeared on the horizon, Alya got up from her sleeping bag, rolled it up, stuffed it in her backpack, packing the rest of her things to do.
    Sophie sat up, rubbing her eyes. "You're leaving now? It's really early.."
    "Sorry. Go back to sleep. And be sure to mention my excuse to your dad at breakfast. I'll eat an energy bar for my breakfast." Then she added, "Have fun at school!"
    Sophie groaned and rolled over. Then she stopped and sat up again. "Wait I have something for you."
    She stood up and opened her nightstand drawer.
    She pulled out a notebook and pen. She turned to Alya and handed it to her.
    Alya was confused by the gift but offered a 'Thank you' and tucked it into her backpack.
    "Do not lose this," Sophie said firmly, catching Alya off-guard.
    "Okay?"
    "I'm serious. If you lose this, especially the pen, humanity as we know it will die."
    "Okay, Sophie, the exaggerating at the end was unnecessary but I won't lose it."
    Sophie twisted her mouth and then sighed. She grabbed Alya in a tight hug.
    "Try to stay out of trouble?" She asked quietly.
    Alya hugged her back. "No promises. I'll miss you, Soph."
    "I'll miss you more. Bye."
    Alya went down the elevator, out the door, onto her bike, and off.


    Lydia finally slowed to a stop. Port City. At last.
    She stared at the remains of the buildings in awe.
    What on earth could have happened to cause a whole fancy city to crumble? she thought.
    She stepped of her bike, glass crunching under her shoes. She lifted her foot to look at the bottom of her shoe and sighed. She pushed her bike alongside her as she walked. Movement to the right caught her eye and she paused. She jerked her head to her right to find a girl her age watching her.
    The girl walked forward, a small gun in her hand.
    Lydia gulped.
    This is it. I'm going to die. By a psycho girl my age who probably doesn't have a licence for that gun, she thought.
    The girl tossed the gun and caught it in her other hand, tucking it down one of her her knee-high boots.
    Ok, good sign. She put it away.
    "I- I mean no harm?" Lydia's voice ended in a voice crack, as it often did when she was nervous.
    The girl smirked. "Alright, Ms. Noharmgirl, why don't you come with me?" she asked, although Lydia noticed it probably wasn't a question or suggestion, but rather a command.
    The girl sighed, noticing Lydia wasn't going to move.
    "Ok, look, the gun was for protection? Ignore it. I'm Luna, okay? Now you know my name and why I had a gun, great, now follow me."
    Lydia didn't budge. Luna patted her boot and plastered a look of confusion on her face.
    "Now where did I place that gun?"
    Lydia's eyebrows shot up and she followed Luna.
    Luna laughed.
    "Outcast?"
    Lydia shook her head. "Umm, no.. I just uhh, ran from the Center? Don't trust it I guess.."
    "Huh. Same."
    They continued walking. They walked inside a small concrete and glass building.
    A boy and girl their age were sitting in there, blankets and necessities strewn across the floor.
    Luna smirked. "And here we are."






    Be sure to keep checking back for more chapters, hopefully this time I don't forget to keep adding chapters, haha! ☆

    Also, I accept constructive criticism! If you find errors in my writing, please let me know.
    <3
     
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  2. Valiencian

    Valiencian Legendary Partier Elite+

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    Probably not.

    I love how this is written so far! The only thing is that the chapters split up into two spoilers, other than that it’s great.
     
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  3. Spirits

    Spirits Heroic Partier VIP+

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    I love this, reminds me of a video game I played once. Only thing I'd suggest is to make sure you read over your work properly before posting it, because I spotted a few errors (e.g. I saw "an" instead of "and"). And when you have time on your hands, move the other chapters to here, just for convenience's sake. This is great though, keep it up!
     
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  4. aestheticsushi.

    aestheticsushi. Champion Partier VIP+

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    Yeah, that's an issue that keeps happening with spoilers for me.

    Thank you! And yeah, I'll definitely find time to proof-read and move them over
     
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  5. HuskyInAHat

    HuskyInAHat Ultimate Partier Elite

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    Looks great! Gotta say it was a surprise to see it back in my alerts, but a welcome one
     
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  6. Bori

    Bori Heroic Partier Elite

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    this story is still amazing!
     
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