Dad Jokes (and a giveaway!)

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Amandq

Legendary Partier
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Mar 2, 2015
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Hey, PartyZone!
Today marks the 15th year I've been on this planet, and I would love to celebrate by doing a fun little giveaway!

I will be giving away a name in murder, VIP and VIP+ to three lucky winners! But, there's a catch.

To enter, you MUST tell a "dad joke" or otherwise terrible joke. I will pick my three favourites, and they will be notified of when they win.

If the person who wins already has VIP or VIP+, they can choose to give it to a friend.

The rules are simple: do not repeat others' jokes, be original, only one entry per person, and all other server rules apply.

Good luck, PartyZone, and may the best joke win!

(ends December 16th, 2017)
 
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Me: Dad I don't understand English
Dad : Past , Future and Present went to a bar it was tense.
Me : Dad... Seriously I'm failing English.
Dad : Not your a fart smella! I mean... Smart Fella.
Me : Dad get out ill ask mum for help...
 
GG amandq on your bday gl when your older! heres my dad jokes

"Me: 'Hey, I was thinking…
' My dad: 'I thought I smelled something burning.'"
 
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Want to hear a joke about paper?
Nevermind it's TEARABLE
 
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Cashier: "Would you like the milk in the bag?"
Dad: "No just leave it in the carton"



If i do win please don't buy one for Elizaaaaa as this is an alt account.
 
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GG amandq on your bday gl when your older! heres my dad jokes

1.
"Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks."

2 "Me: 'Hey, I was thinking…
' My dad: 'I thought I smelled something burning.'"

3.Me: 'Dad, make me a sandwich!' Dad: 'Poof, You’re a sandwich!'”


1: A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says; "Sorry we don't serve food here."
2:
Cashier: "Would you like the milk in the bag?"
Dad: "No just leave it in the carton"
3:Two peanuts where walking down the street. One of them was salted


if I do win please don't buy one for Elizaaaaa as this is an alt account.

Only one joke, please.
 
(Based off an actual story)
Me in the ER: "I feel like I'm being stabbed right now."
Dad: "At least you weren't actually stabbed."
Me: "Yeah I guess.."
Dad: "Could you imagine? I'd have to tell them you're in STAB-LE condition."
 
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Me: Dad im hungry
Dad: Hi, Im dad!
 
A limbo champion walked into a bar.

He was disqualified.
 
Did you hear about the scarecrow that got promoted?

He was outstanding in his field!
 
Today marks the 15th year I've been on this planet, and I would love to celebrate by doing a fun little giveaway!
happy birthday hon xoxo

A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!” The doctor replied, “I know you can’t I’ve cut off your arms!”


username: HalseyNoot
 
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Me: dad what do u think of wind turbines (asking him for a geography question)
Dad: I'm a big fan.
 
What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta!
 
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A mushroom walks in a bar, the bartender says “Hey, you can’t drink here.”
The mushroom says “Why not, I’m a Fun-gi!”
 
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Which is faster to make: code that doesn’t work or code that works?

Code that works because it runs!

Happy birthday child ❤️

Edit: Here's another one and this one is better so...

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching an American street performer do some juggling. The juggler notices the four gentleman have a very poor view, so he stands up on a wooden crate and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"

"Yes"

"Oui"

"Sí"

"Ja"
 
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Dad: y'know i stayed up all night wondering where the sun went, then it dawned on me


...
Wow this is he first time im entering a giveaway! I hope the winner would be so happy!
 
This joke is terrible, so here goes nothing...

Three cats are in a swimming race. The first cat was called "One Two Three". The second cat was called "Ein Zwei Drei". The third cat was called "Un Deux Trois". The second cat came first, the first cat came second and the third cat didn't finish...

Why didn't the third cat finish?

Because Un Deux Trois cat sank!

Get it? Because Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinq sounds like to Un Deux Trois cat sank


I know it's bad
 
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