Hello Partiers,
As you can see from the title I am leaving, this thread will tell you the reasons why.
Ive been crying in my bedroom for the past couple of days about how my mother died last year. I know it was 5 months ago but it's something that won't stop haunting me. My self depression is coming back and being on pz hasn't really helped at all. Ive also been a lot in school like one of my best friends nearly died in a horrible crash and i found out that my dad is in debt. Although this might seem all made up, I wish it was. Life for me has been hell in the past couple of months and I feel like I'm useless. Most days I wake up asking myself 'Why do I exist? The world would be a better place without me! I wish I could just disapear...' I've made some big mistakes that I regret doing on pz and feel like ive been a real jerk towards a lot people. I haven't told anyone how I feel and have just been carrying all of this weight on my shoulders. I put a mask on acting like everything is ok... I don't know who I would be today without some people but I still feel like ive been a jerk to a lot of people in a way that I just can't explain.
Another way to explain how I've been feeling for he past couple of months is:
You see that girl? She looks so happy, right? Telling jokes, smiling, having a great time and... dying inside. She's hurt. And tired. Tired of all the drama, tired of not being good enough, tired of life. But she doesn't want to look dramatic, weak, attention seeking. So she keeps it all inside. Acts like everything's perfect but cries at night. So everybody thinks that she's the happiest person they know. That she has no problems and her life is fine. They ask, "How are you doing?" But what they mean is "Are you over it yet?" Her lips say "Fine, thanks." But her eyes tell a different story, her heart sings a different tune and her soul just weeps. Sometimes when she says "Im okay", She wants someone to look her in the eyes, hug her tight, and say "I know your not.."That 'Girl' is me..
Some people that I'm close to are the ones that I was thinking about and asking myself 'Do I really want to go? How long should I go?' I ended choosing the desicion to leave. I don't exactly know how long it will be but I probably won't be on for the rest of June and probably not on during July either. August might be when I decided to come back, but I do not know. The hardest thing about leaving would be to leave my close friends... and I've now gotten back into the feeling that some people that I will tag hate me.
The main people that I will miss:
@Hclly @Alexonn @etgarar @Lewie @Kona @HxpeOfMxrning @Meeponn @Joshuaaa1221 @CanYouDont @Grizzly @Sabreh | Sabrina @Miikaa @Dragonnn_
Goodbye until next time guys... feel free to add me on discord or snapchat
Discord: Alleh#5907
Snapchat: xallleh
As you can see from the title I am leaving, this thread will tell you the reasons why.
Ive been crying in my bedroom for the past couple of days about how my mother died last year. I know it was 5 months ago but it's something that won't stop haunting me. My self depression is coming back and being on pz hasn't really helped at all. Ive also been a lot in school like one of my best friends nearly died in a horrible crash and i found out that my dad is in debt. Although this might seem all made up, I wish it was. Life for me has been hell in the past couple of months and I feel like I'm useless. Most days I wake up asking myself 'Why do I exist? The world would be a better place without me! I wish I could just disapear...' I've made some big mistakes that I regret doing on pz and feel like ive been a real jerk towards a lot people. I haven't told anyone how I feel and have just been carrying all of this weight on my shoulders. I put a mask on acting like everything is ok... I don't know who I would be today without some people but I still feel like ive been a jerk to a lot of people in a way that I just can't explain.
Another way to explain how I've been feeling for he past couple of months is:
You see that girl? She looks so happy, right? Telling jokes, smiling, having a great time and... dying inside. She's hurt. And tired. Tired of all the drama, tired of not being good enough, tired of life. But she doesn't want to look dramatic, weak, attention seeking. So she keeps it all inside. Acts like everything's perfect but cries at night. So everybody thinks that she's the happiest person they know. That she has no problems and her life is fine. They ask, "How are you doing?" But what they mean is "Are you over it yet?" Her lips say "Fine, thanks." But her eyes tell a different story, her heart sings a different tune and her soul just weeps. Sometimes when she says "Im okay", She wants someone to look her in the eyes, hug her tight, and say "I know your not.."That 'Girl' is me..
Some people that I'm close to are the ones that I was thinking about and asking myself 'Do I really want to go? How long should I go?' I ended choosing the desicion to leave. I don't exactly know how long it will be but I probably won't be on for the rest of June and probably not on during July either. August might be when I decided to come back, but I do not know. The hardest thing about leaving would be to leave my close friends... and I've now gotten back into the feeling that some people that I will tag hate me.
The main people that I will miss:
@Hclly @Alexonn @etgarar @Lewie @Kona @HxpeOfMxrning @Meeponn @Joshuaaa1221 @CanYouDont @Grizzly @Sabreh | Sabrina @Miikaa @Dragonnn_
Goodbye until next time guys... feel free to add me on discord or snapchat
Discord: Alleh#5907
Snapchat: xallleh
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Love ya
